people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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