I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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