I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
