Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
