If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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