Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
