careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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