Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
