I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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