I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
literally had 100 drinks last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
