bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
