Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
