That reminds me...we need to get swords
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize