You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
