he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The feeling are messing with the penis
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think people are normalizing furries
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
