did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
