the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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