i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
