please come you make the beer taste better
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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