Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Randomize
