All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
