shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize