If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
