It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
