real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am spending my child support on dildos
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
