I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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