Screwed.edu
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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