Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
