I will die if light touches me.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
