If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
