Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
