So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
