thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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