you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
