How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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