dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
