Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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