I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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