Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
