i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
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