...so i touched it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
