Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just blew my weed a kiss
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
