if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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