My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
