dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
