I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
