so that wasnt chicken after all
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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