i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
