she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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