i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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