I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
