If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
