somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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