she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
being pregnant is like rehab
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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