accomplished twins. life is a go
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This is my gift to your gina
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
