I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
