some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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