Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
