3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
