if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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