Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize