Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
