either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Actions speak louder than pants.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
